Is the Bible Real Truth?
God knows; I don't know!
I hope to God the Scriptures are truth! I pray they are truth. I try and believe The Word is truth... But?
Written: Wed, Mar 18, 2026
Addendum as Update: Mar 27, 2026
 This original document [below] was written during days of depression, after loosing an aunt that had been in my life forever, well, forever from my perspective. This is written after that depression, as an update... My aunt being 10 when I was born, she lived in my home for the first four years of my life. Her recent death generated a trauma that I allowed cause me to question and maybe doubt my faith, or even the goodness of God. I almost didn't write this, and I would yet take it down, except it would feel dishonest to do so. I am what I am. By the grace of God, I hope and I pray, I am what I am... This material will likely be helpful only to people who are depressed... Even then, there are many pages more encouraging and upbeat. Visit: "What Next? Rejoice!" or "Walk on Water." or any of the many other pages that are about what the Bible actually teaches! This page is more about "my" feelings during a time that proved to be worse for me than I can describe... After many troubling days, I find my trial has helped me sort out a weakness in me; I need to be very careful about running ahead in my faith, to go past what יהוה has actually promised for our day in time; to believe beyond what He has promised me for today! I re-read many of these webpages daily; trying to live inside God's world. Or, more accurately, to remember I am living in יהוה's world! Being a reminder of my depressed state; this page will likely not be one of those I re-read often. This writing reflects a time of terrible sadness and distress... It does serve to remind me of something very important: If I don't want to be like Peter when his lack of faith caused him to fial to walk on water, I have to have real and true faith. I can't just want faith. I can't just say I have faith. I have to actually "have" real and unwavering faith. I do remember, I didn't! I have loved and hoped in and looked for my Grand Creator and his goodness since I have memories. That led me to the Bible as the only sensible explanation of him. That Bible truth has given my life hope and purpose. Learning the Bible has made sense of me. It is the only thing that does. Going forward, then, rather than mucking about remembering these bad days, I pray, of course, as the only thing I know to do; "let me find joy and hope in the words of my God forever!" Help me, Father, to truly believe... Help me out where I need faith! (Mark 9:22-24)
Today, [Mon, Mar 31, 2026] I am back to finding great joy in my Bible study, (John 15:11-16) including feeling יהוה spirit on my efforts. I will try and move forward, remembering to balance my knowledge Jesus said "no man knows the day or hour" of his return; (Mat 24:36-42) with my hope and faith I am witnessing the terrible times he foretold, the times indicating the season or time of his return, (Mat 24:3-14) so as not to be caught off-guard. (Mat 24:42-44; Luke 12:35-38) [Doesn't being caught off-guard really just mean "not" being in expectation of it?] Jesus said world conditions would get so bad, if God didn't intervene, no one would be left alive. (Mat 24:22) Don't you see that defines our world. We have built a world that is so vile it is destroying itself... God doesn't really need to kill anyone! He only needs to "not help" and we will all be dead soon. (Mat 24:22) Thankfully, He is destroying the wicked using Christ and the Angels, in what the Bible calls Armageddon. What about you? Are you protected by God's Spirit gained by reading and putting faith in Christ's words? (John 6:63) So, I don't know "what" specific day, but I try to believe and have faith it is "any" day now... In trying to comfort me in during my period of grief and doubt, my daughter said God hasn't promised us anything. While I totally disagree with her statement overall, [I do believe God has made us many promises, as does my daughter... (Rev 24:1-4)] in the context of our discussion, she is right. So, I do "understand" my feeling the presence of God's Spirit this day, is not His promise of His uninterrupted eternal protection and blessings. I tend toward believing that and that is what caused my doubt and distress. While I must confess to "knowing" that truth, that I can't be certain the blessings I am enjoying right now will last forever without interruption, I am still hoping I am feeling His Spirit active in my life and that I will go on having it forever, to the point of reality established. (Rev 21:1-4) So, then, it is truth for me! I'll go on trying to become an obedient son of God, trying to heal my bad leg and... (Heb 12:1-29)
Original Writing: Mar 18, 2026
No matter who proclaims otherwise, or how sincere they might be; what truth actually is, is what we are all waiting to find out. We choose to believe in something, and then, we wait for fulfillment... Many, or seemingly even most people, have no real hope; believing we should eat drink and be merry for this life we are living is all there is; then, tomorrow we die. (Isa 22:13; 1 Cor 15:32 of 1-34) Others, like me, have used their life to great value [or squandered it if our hope is not true (1 Cor 15:17-19)], believing there must be a prime cause of all the good we do see; and, that what we see gives sound reason for hope that Creator must be good... (Heb 11:6) Those are the people seeking God! And, He promises He is paying attention to who is searching... (2 Chron 16:9) If there truly is a good Creator, the Bible is the only sensible explanation of Him. But, the simple truth is, no human actually knows whether the Bible is truth. We believe or we don't; (John 3:19 of 16-21) but no human "knows" what truth is! (Rom 8:24-25) We only know what our Creator has led us to believe; and that's the "best" we can be...

Today, I suffered the trauma of an old and dear friend dying, someone I loved very much, and had to witness her suffer and die. She loved life and shared my hope of living into eternity, as dear pals forever. She seemed to love to hear me speak about that hope. But today, today she died. It was after an extended illness and she suffered a great deal. Even though she and I are/were old, I pray to live forever, and so, I prayed for her to enjoy that with me. I prayed all through her ordeal and became convinced sometimes I saw my prayers were answered. But, in her finality [until her resurrection, assuming that hope is real], my prayers apparently weren't heard or certainly answered. In her last days, when she suffered so much, I prayed that if there was some reason God couldn't keep her alive, that He would ease her suffering. I couldn't feel her suffering, of course, but I could see it was great with no indication it was eased... I do know the reasons God gives us in the Bible about how and why suffering and death exist, and how and why they are not his fault. About how He has a fix in place; and we just have to wait until that fix is revealed. (Rev 21:1-4) Today, though, I'm just not really feeling it! Today, I feel hurt and angry, angry with Him, angry with my Creator... (Rom 9:20-21 of 18-29) I do know many people will say such a statement indicates I am just wicked. And, I must confess, I can't know they are not right. I fear, in fact, they are! My response, I must note, is very different from that of God's friend King David, when ancient David's son suffered and died. (2 Sam 12:15-23) I suppose my only hope, if being compared with faithful David, is we are all individuals and very different before our Creator! As for my faith: The God I have fallen in love with and chosen to worship is good and loving and kind! Well, that's who I hope He is. And, that is who I have learned him to be from the Bible. Today, however, He doesn't feel that way. There was just no reason for my friend to have suffered the way she did! There just wasn't! He claims he knows when a sparrow falls to the earth and the hairs on my head are all numbered. (Mat 10:29-31) Couldn't He, then, have spared both me and my dear friend her death, or certainly, all her pain and suffering and my anguish?

I still love יהוה, of course, as I have known Him to be. Or, I am trying to. One problem for me in all this is I'm never quite sure how much of what I feel for Him is true love, and how much is just my hope for eternal life at His hand. Hoping for His promised blessings is certainly one reason I serve. For us to expect and look forward to His reward, however, is not a bad thing... He says we should! (Heb 11:6) I want to be able to say it's alright that He didn't give any indication of help, and that my friends suffering didn't matter. The simple truth is it does matter to me. It should matter. It should matter to Him! And, as I say, maybe it does... since I couldn't feel how much my friend suffered, or know how much relief she got. But, relief wasn't noticeable to me or anyone else until after she struggled her very best and hardest for her final breath; her only relief being death. I am forced to be happy for an end of her suffering. I hope what happened to her isn't all there is... That it isn't my fate as well as hers!

Trying to find some un-bad in this, I guess maybe if I am able to go on loving God in spite of what is happening to me and to the rest of this world, maybe that is what indicates there is something of value in me. I hope so. I hope I am able to go on loving him. There are several reasons I write to expose my feelings of doubt [at best], even as I also hope they will get better moving forward.
• First: True Christians are not liars, but always seek and speak truth. (Rev 21:5-8; John 18:37) So, I feel the need to expose "all" I am, for good or bad. Anyway; God knows!
• Second: I need truth; need to believe my hope is real and based in truth. I believe the hope of most organized religions people is in vain [as an organization]. Real Christians wouldn't judge to hurt and even kill each other the way Religionists do! (Mat 15:3-9) I need to believe my sincere effort to build my hope very strictly on what the Bible actually teaches, primarily through the words of Christ, (Gal 3:23-29; John 6:63) makes me different; makes me a Christian rather than a Religionist... (Mat 7:15-20; Mat 24:23-28) Even so, at the first sign of pain, I want to blame God. Maybe I should consider if I have run ahead in my faith to believe something God didn't really say.
• Third: I feel an overwhelming need to figure out some way to believe this anguish of faith I am feeling is my fault and not God's. If not, what good could I be and what would be my future? A life without hope? My whole life's work and hope would have been in vain. (1 Cor 15:16-19 of 12-28)
Maybe that idea that I have run ahead to believe in "my hope," instead of what God actually said, will provide the answer. So, that's why I write this, in hope I can understand to find some way to return to truly believing my God is perfect in all His ways. (Deu 32:4)

So, then, my trauma leads me to ask, is the Bible really the truth? All I truly know is it's the only game in town. If the hope of the Bible isn't real and true, we are just all damned to what ever comes our way, with no hope. I do hope better, but, we "all" wait to see... I keep on trying to truly believe it's better than my last few days have made me feel, to  return to being  become a person of true faith. After very publicly boasting for many years of my hope to live forever without having to die, (John 11:26; John 8:51) I would guess a lot or other people are waiting to see about my faith and what becomes of me as well!

This bad that I am feeling doesn't change all the good I have said about our Creator on this website: I have only done my best to parrot what the Bible teaches, and, I do still try and have Bible truth as my hope. This pain and anger that I now feel is also being forced to become a part of my hope and/or faith going forward; and I don't know how or where it can fit. Since I have tried to influence a lot of people, it would seem incompatible with truth not to make known what my true faith is, including these doubts! Today... I'm just sorry and sad, trying to find some way to continue forward in expectation the God I have hoped in all my life actually is good and cares about me, about all of us, like He claims He does! (Luke 12:6-7) It upsets me beyond saying to imagine I encourage someone to hope a hope that is in vain! It has been my belief God is giving his Spirit to his followers helping those needing help. This seemingly needless suffering of my friend makes me feel I have been a fool. It's very scary to write this. I fear making Him angry, and what that might bring. (Heb 10:26-31) But, I don't know how not to expose these things about myself. I feel I must serve God out of love and in truth, never out of morbid fear... Even so, as I have done all my life, I once again do the only thing I know to do; I pray: "Father, please, help me!" (Mark 9:22-24 of 20-24) I hope continuing to appeal to him is sensible, but my remaining convinced of truth is also necessary. But even still, there is just no where else to turn! I wish there was a perpetual burning light on a mountain we could go to in order to hear and know him. (Isa 2:2-4)
Mat 13:44-50
I have always believed there was: The mountain of truth being illuminated in the words of Jesus Christ. (Gal 3:19-29; Rev 21:1-4) I long to be back there in that more pleasant hope. (Heb 12:1-29) But, I don't know how to let this grief and anger go. I hope I can move forward with it, or better, that I will be able to let it go over time. "Father, help me!" Still yet, I don't know any better to suggest than faith and hope in what you personally know to be the words of Jesus Christ... (Mat 17:5)
Above is my Original writing on Wed, Mar 18, 2026

I hope to see my dear friend soon, in the resurrection...
As for me; I sill hope to be a survivor of the destruction of Satan's old world system; but... I'm reevaluating.
Below are my thoughts day by day, as I try and sort through what has proved to be a terrible trial for me; even as it continues!
Thu, Mar 19,2026

What I learned on 3/19/26, one day after I wrote the above, and not a second too soon: While I didn't see the death of my friend, because I wasn't in the room, someone who actually witnessed it and had told me about her last gasp for breath, just confided something else they witnessed. They said my dear dying friend seemed to express that she was experiencing some great joy from her life, along with that last breath. They said it seemed she was hearing the voice of, and running to meet, someone she loved... I thank יהוה for manipulating this terrible drama to be certain I gained that knowledge of her relief! He must have, don't you think? It means a great deal to think He might have helped her experience in her mind, some wonderful moment from her life as He eased her pain while she died. Or, I hope better, she was foreseeing a future moment. My hope is that joy she experienced will soon be part of the future reality for my friend and me; after her resurrection! I still feel  mad and  greatly distressed that she had to die and certainly to suffer, but... my hope in יהוה is made some better in that hope of her relief! Leaving me, once again, offering prayer to the only possible source of help: "Help me my heavenly Father, to have joy before your face, forever..." (John 15:7-11; John 17:13) Compared to David, my faith might not hold up well under judgment. But, thank God, He is dealing with each one of us individually. The trial for me, at being witness to the ordeal my dear friend suffered during her horrible death, has actually upended my faith. One thing it should do is help me be more understanding of other people trying to come to know יהוה; and not be judgmental because they are not trying to walk in my same steps. That especially includes someone very dear to me. This leaves me with hoping I'll soon be with both the love of my life, and my now dead friend, in the paradise restored! (Rev 21:1-4; Mat 25:31-34; Isa 11:1-12) This now becomes another webpage I'll have to reread often, lest I forget and lose the faith my trial has engendered and/or reaffirmed put to the test...
Fri, Mar 20, 2026
I want to get off this roller coaster of ups and downs. What I record here has been my life. For my part, the way the above events transpired, and the timing of my coming to be made aware of them, is proof to me there is a God. In my mind and so my faith, He clearly  led me  is leading me through that ordeal. If it had been just this once, maybe it could have been time and unforseen circumstance. (Ecc 9:11) But, my whole nearly 80 years of life has been like that: A string of threats followed by protections or partial deliverances, events and circumstances that have convinced me God exists and is active around my life. (VietnamJC.com) So as not to get too full of myself for believing God exists, the demons also believe. (James 2:19) So it requires more than just believing God exists, we have to believe He is good... (Heb 11:6) That seems to be the problem I have exposed about myself herein. I became convinced God would help my dear friend, the friend that wound up dying a horrible death, and when God didn't help her, I got angry. Then, when I believed He gave her some brief relief at the very end of her life, I was elated that maybe He did hear my prayer. Today, however, I have awakened once again to find my friend is still dead, and, her terrible suffering still remains as at least most of the last part of her life. So, I am unable to help myself from being left wondering if God really cares about helping us, as He promises about himself, (Zec 2:8) or if his real goal is just to keep us worshiping him; with little real concern for us or our wellbeing. We've never actually "seen" him lastingly help anyone, foremost his firstborn son. We are told Jesus was resurrected to glory and eternal life, but none of us have seen that. We read accounts of people who claimed to have seen Jesus after his resurrection, but they could easily have been deceived and manipulated.

So, after or in the midst of this fresh and still raw trial, I go back to my attempted Christian life, but, I think, changed. I still try to hope and believe God is good and to figure out how to make sense and to live productively with what my life actually is; but I don't know quite how. Jacob [Isreal], when he was well up in years and after a nearly 100 years of life in righteous struggle and toil, had a wrestling with God. (Gen 32:24-32) Jacob prevailed and was renamed Israel, indicating his blessing and transformation from one struggling to succeed, to one blessed by God's spirit for his work of producing the Messiah through his seed. The best I know to hope is something similar is happening to me. Doctors take an oath to "First, do no harm!" I feel that should be a Christian's oath as well. I have the glory of knowing the Bible taught me the concept of good and righteousness, which I had no real understanding of before. And so, I do hope there is a God who is bringing my hopes to life, doing so because He is good. That I can even know what righteousness is does seem a miracle! But, now I am coming to better understand, I must do so without "knowing" whether God is actually good; doing so just because it is the right thing to do. In hope, then, I try to be the best person I can be, in imitation and hope of what God asserts himself to be in the Bible; of what I still hope he is. I wish I could be more, but, I just don't know how... I still pray for his help, of course; But I also can't be a stupid person; just believing blindly. If I was going to do that, I might as well be one trying to get the meaning of life from chicken bones or guts, or the alignment of the stars. I started my search for God from before I have memory, seeking to actually know him personally. It quickly became obvious the Bible is the only reasonable source of knowledge about God. Really knowing him, it now seems to me, has to rise above trying to have faith based on some words He had recorded in a book. I just don't seem able to know him personally until He is actually and personally involved in my life. I hope that is not a failing bringing death on my part! Can, though, anyone truly be a friend without our intimate actual personal knowledge of that friend? I try to think of my Heavenly Father as my friend. I await and hope for the time when He rises up to take that position. Until then, I will try to be a person who does no harm, as his teachings and my experience of life seem to make clear is the best I can be. That's all I know. Again, I hope that doesn't mean I'm wicked... I do know lots of people, especially Religionists, will tell you they do "know" God and they "know" He is real; asserting I'm just a wicked fool to raise these questions. (2 Pet 3:4) What is truth remains your decision to make, even as it is mine; and theirs. I am thankful to the God I hope in, even while I also have to "hope" He is good. I am thankful that I know and understand these things, and am able to speak about them. (Mal 3:16-4:3) I don't think any human or group could have produced and revealed what I have learned from the Bible. I do also know this trial and awakening has altered my relationship with him, at least until He stands up to be my everlasting friend and true and obvious and real and eternal helper, even as He has promised. I do know my life could have been a lot worse, and even maybe that I have been preserved alive by him. I also know and fear my life could still yet get a lot worse! Still, what is "actually real" is what is... I didn't create it, I'm just trying to understand and get the meaning from it. I'm trying to survive it, and to be blessed by the one responsible. Hopefully, even, to find lasting joy in it! (John 15:11-16) I want to believe those scriptures and I am still made so happy when I read them. Shouldn't I, though, be able to believe all of what they say? I continue to try. God, please help me!

Meaning of life
Everyone who isn't a "good for nothing" person, (1 Sam 2:12; Pro 6:12-15) is then a man or woman of goodwill. (Luke 2:13-14) That's just all there is. (John 3:19-21) All people of goodwill seek to have their lives count for something. They seek some good purpose. And, most everyone thinks they have found it. Doctors, school teachers, mechanics or engineers, and certainly preachers, most all think they have found a calling that gives purpose to life. For me, it has been learning what the Bible teaches and sharing the hope that knowledge gave me. How silly, really, of all of us. Jesus said if he didn't speak the truth his Father sent him to bring, the stones would cry out! (Luke 19:36-40) Any message God want's people to hear, he could write in fire in the night sky for all to see. How silly of us to think he needs any of us! Even so and still, maybe we can figure out some way to be helpful to him. How? I now think it is by doing our best to becoming people who "do no harm!"

Someone very dear told me recently she asks God if she should do a thing, before she does "anything." That just seems a perfect solution. If we can use our lives trying to be kind to everyone alive, and to avoid causing them pain or harm, that is the best I can "know" we have to give. Not extending love because we are seeking God's blessings, but because it is right and good. That seems all there is for me! I  hope  pray that is enough; that my effort is pleasing to our Creator... That, again, is just all I know to do. I hope God is good!
This trial of mine has left me trapped by my own faith, with no where to go and my hope at best diminished. I feel like one of those broken robots that just keeps turning in circles and bumping into things, but unable to accomplish anything. I well know the Bible and the God who created it is our only hope. Now feeling forced to question whether He is really helping us, or just manipulating us to offer Him praise, has crushed me. It makes me question if I can continue trying to teach his words, lest I be helping manipulate people toward a reward that is not real... I fear his wrath even as I say such things, but, they are just the truth as I know it. Even so, as I speak this, I also cry out for his help because that's all there is. (Rom 7:24) I have begged for faith and I continue to do so! (Mark 9:22-24; Psalms 4:1; Psalms 17:1-3) Pray for me! (James 5:16) It feels I am left with the need to continue in my service of God without actually knowing He is good!
Sat, Mar 21, 2026
 God tells us He is the God of love. (1 John 4:7-10) He also claims to be the God of truth. (Titus 1:1-3) Jesus himself commended his followers for searching for truth and encouraged them to continue to do so. (Rev 2:1-3) So, wouldn't that also include those determined to worship God strictly according to the Bible? Wouldn't that apply to me?

We see people of this world who try to read chicken bones or the stars to gain understanding. Some imagining themselves more eloquent, I suppose, read tarot cards seeking understand from the spirits. You surely realize how foolish that is! (Acts 17:22-31) If God is good, and because He is good, wouldn't He need to correct such people? And, if they refused to stop but continued to practice and mislead people toward such badness, wouldn't He be forced to destroy them? (1 Kings 18:21-40) So, doesn't that all make clear and sure our need to know what truth really is?

Jesus did warn about false prophets and Christs who would work to mislead. (Mat 7:15-23; Mat 24:23-28) We can see how obvious it is that most churches and Religionists, as organizations, [but not necessarily the individuals within] are just vile men gathered to further their own interests. Doesn't that knowledge mean, then, we need to keep examining what we have allowed ourselves to believe?

My experience of the last few days leads me here; to the sadness and terror of my own thoughts... All my life, I have accepted largely without question, that God is good. This trial I have experienced in these last days, over my absolute helplessness during the painful death of my dear little friend, has led me to reevaluate who I am; and to ask, is God really good? Please do know, I recognize the danger of such thinking! Saying God is bad is what Satan did that actually defined him wicked: Satan lied and said God is bad because יהוה was withholding something good from Eve and Adam. (Gen 3:1-5) I am not doing that at all! Well, I pray I am not. I am just asking if it is reasonable for me to continue to make the assumption that God saying He is good, actually then means it is so!

In all fairness, I should make clear I had previously allowed myself to believe God is protecting me with his spirit; at least to do this preaching work, and then, I hope, as a survivor. This drama also forces me to take stock of, and thus should admit, the fact I had allowed myself to believe יהוה was also protecting my friend. I had believed she and I were among the survivors of the destruction of this old world system, meaning she and I would live on into paradise. Obviously, in her case at least, I was a fool! That very obviously leaves me to wonder about my own faith, and, of course, my own protection... So, I hope you can understand my inward reflections of what I have become in my faith, right down to its bare bones. [Far more than what you think, of course, I hope יהוה understands my reflecting on these things.] I think the God of truth would expect no less. In fear of what might befall me for being disrespectful, (Acts 12:21-23) I try to be extremely careful in talking about what I also have to consider might possibly be just my lack of faith.

By now I am coming to remember I have always understood that what I have had was faith and not knowledge. I have believed or tired to believe God is good; while also having to accept and know no one ever truly "knows." We hope! I don't think anyone has been able to know. I think Jesus Christ is the proof of God's goodness, and that Jesus hasn't yet presented that proof. Jesus has been given life within himself... His life is no longer dependent on his Father. Soon now, after all wickedness including even death is done away with, comes the final proof. When Jesus, having been given rulership over all Creation, resubmits himself to his Father so יהוה will be all things to all people. (1 Cor 15:24-28 of 1-34) Then, I will KNOW. And, I will be known [and fully protected] by my God! I believe this awakening I feel I am having right now, may be that transformation (Gen 32:24-32) from one hoping in and grasping for God, to one feeling and knowing his blessings [by seeing them fulfilled]. That's my faith and hope. Please hear my words... (Mal 3:16-4:3)
Mon, Mar 23, 2026
 This morning brought me some fresh insight from my knowledge of the Bible, on the terrible trial the last few days have proved to be... Let me be very careful not to equate myself with Jesus in my consideration of my own suffering: First, this wasn't even really my suffering, it was me witnessing the suffering of someone I love. [Like יהוה sacrificed himself to do when His Son Jesus was murdered!] Second, no one should ever compare themselves with the suffering Christ endured. He had read the Hebrew prophecies and so knew he was facing a horrible death as an evildoer... As the perfect son of God, his death is probably the most horrible ever. Even so, my grief brought to mind the words of Jesus, just before he died on a stake* or a cross, as he cried out, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"
(Mat 27:45-46) Jesus had asked his Father to lighten or remove his crown of suffering, (Mark 14:32-42; Mat 26:36-45) but then also prayed for his Father's will. Jesus said he was so crushed in his spirit, he felt he was dying. Was that a momentary lack of faith by even Jesus Christ? I'm certainly not in the business of judging Jesus, but it is my responsibility and assignment to learn from him and to judge myself. (Mat 17:5; John 3:18-19) These scriptures woke me feeling in good company for the anguish I have felt the last few days over being witness to my friend's suffering. I still hate what has happened. I still don't really understand why. But, I once again pray to יהוה, "please Father, help me out where I need faith." (Mark 9:23-24)
* [(Jesus) "died on a stake* or a cross"]. . . If you are one of those very religious people who felt compelled to interject to to find fault with my writing above, to correct me that Jesus died or a stake, or maybe you want to teach me he died on "the old rugged cross," you have likely missed the point. No human alive today knows which Jesus was nailed to and murdered. It might even have been a tree. The Romans used all three. If you imagine "you do know," to the point of being emboldened to correct the faith of others, it likely means you have been listening to Religionists instead of your Bible, because it appears the original Bible text didn't make it clear whether Jesus died on a stake or a cross or a tree... If Jesus had been shot instead of crucified, do you imagine God would find favor with your arguing about whether His Son was shot with a pistol or a revolver? Or, would that likely indicate you have no idea about the purpose of his Son's death?

I awoke this morning wondering also, just why I missed my friend so much, and why her suffering and death caused me so much grief and anger. I quickly realized it is her love. At least in part, because of who she knew me to be, she expressed sincere love toward me. I surely miss that love and can't stand the thought of it being lost forever. No creature before or after, could give the love she gave. That was "her" love! God's loves us, of course, no matter what we choose to allow ourselves to become. Even if we force him to let us die, or even kill us, He still loves us. Now, I am sure, it is because those who do love him, do love him, is the reason God specially cherishes us and accepts us as his friends. I certainly want to be that, a friend of the God of love. (Isa 41:8-10) Where would I really go away to... (John 6:52-61; John 6:66-69) I await and expect my deliverance at his hand. I once again find great joy in reading all these promises of God; promises I know far surpass anything any man or group could have imagined or devised. His solution to all the pain and suffering Satan and Adam and Eve caused is prefect. I look forward to my friend waking up from her sleep. God didn't cause her death. My failure or lack of faith didn't cause her death! Satan caused her death, and he will very soon be no more; and all his works undone... (Psa 37:10-11; 1 John 3:8) Unless the new system is enforced between now and then, (2 Pet 3:8-18) Another day of life in this wicked old world system (2 Pet 2:7-8) means I will likely awaken tomorrow with doubts. I pray my wisdom to read the scriptures will quickly return me here!

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